The Value You Bring

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“Try not to become a human of success. Rather become a human of value.” 
                                                             ― Albert Einstein

 

The value you bring does not come from:

  • your title.
  • your position.
  • the buzz words you use.
  • your ability to schmooze.
  • your willingness to play political games.
  • the size of your ego.
  • the number of people you know.
  • the number of people who know you.
  • the number of presentations you have made.
  • the conferences you have attended.
  • the titles of books on your desk.
  • the number of compliments and acknowledgments you have received.
  • the hours you work.
  • the number of projects that you take on.

The value that you bring does not even come from the money you make.

Or even, the year that you were great.

________

The value you bring comes from:

  • your empathy for others.
  • your ability to leave your ego at the door.
  • your willingness to embrace the complex and say: “I don’t know.”
  • your resolve in determining, clarifying, and articulating (so everyone can understand) what matters.
  • the time you spend doing what matters.
  • the occasions you spotlight others and step back.
  • the alignment between your words and actions.
  • your willingness to roll up your sleeves and do the work.
  • your ability to say no. No, that doesn’t align with my beliefs.
  • your authentic vulnerability.
  • your willingness to change your opinion.
  • the tenderness of your heart.
  • the value you place on feedback and reflection.
  • the times you say sorry and mean it.
  • the moments you are completely present.
  • your willingness to reach across divides and hold your hand patiently.

The value that you bring may not even be noticed. But rest assured you are valuable.

________

What value do you bring?

The time trap

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How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.    -Annie Dilliard

Don’t waste your time
Hurry up! We are running out of time!
Time’s up!
Sorry, we don’t have time for that today.
We need to make up for lost time.
Keep your eye on the time.

How often have these phrases left my mouth? Too often!! And when I say them aloud, I feel the physical urgency to move into super-fast-every-second-counts-mode. I feel the grip this pace takes on my nervous system. It squeezes out every human instinct: I forget to hydrate, eat, and even go to the washroom. Time is the boss of me.

Why are we obsessed with time and how we spend it? Is our fixation with time connected to a deeply held cultural belief around productivity and efficiency? Is usefulness measured by the number of “widgets” we can produce in a day?  The more widgets we can produce, the more productive and efficient we are. Time is the boss.

Is learning like churning out widgets? Is learning about efficiency and productivity?

It can be tempting. We have x number of pieces of curriculum and to make the quota, we must produce x amount of learning per day. Perhaps, unknowingly, we have transposed pieces of the curriculum with widgets: the more pieces of the curriculum we cover in a day, the more useful and successful we feel. The learning fits into the time.

What if the small pieces of the curriculum are unrecognizable to our students? Sure, small pieces might be easy to handle and plan for. But does the convenience make the piece meaningless (both to ourselves and our learners)?

We ask our students to keep on, keeping on, and don’t mention when the pieces will fit together. We sledgehammer the curriculum into pieces so they fit neatly into 5-minute stations but in the process lose sight of the story we are trying to create. Time is queen.

What if time wasn’t the parameter we defaulted to? Let’s zoom out to see 5 years in a child’s life. What matters here? Zoom out a bit more and look at the child’s life over 12-years. What matters now? Finally, zoom way out and look at the story of this child over an entire lifetime. What matters? What patterns, stories, and experiences do we hope to see? Perhaps joy, hope, self-knowledge, love of learning, connection, and curiosity (this is not exhaustive)?

Let’s zoom back in to look in the minutes and hours. Where and when are these big sweeping stories present? Are these hopes and dreams manifested in every moment or just some? Can we see the big themes within the small?

When the pieces become too small, maybe it is time (haha) to escape the time trap.

p.s. I am not implying that knowledge acquisition is not important or relevant. When we break knowledge down into small unrecognizable bits it is hard to see where it fits. I am suggesting that knowledge acquisition could be in service of something greater than the acquisition itself.

Putting Down the Busy Badge

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    “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life.”
                                                                                                          ~Mary Oliver

It starts slowly. At first you don’t even notice it, and in a funny way, it actually feels good. You feel fulfilled, you feel valued, and let’s face it, you feel important.

I am busy!!! Busy, busy, busy!! Doing very important things. LOOK AT ME GOOOOOO…..

At first, you only wear your badge at work. But it’s so hard to take off darn it!  So, you wear it home for dinner (no one will notice).

But the clasp somehow starts to pierce through your sleep and you wake up in the middle of the night with it on. Eventually, you wake up and busy is already shouting orders at you in the early morning.  You start wearing the badge 24 hours a day.

Busy has become a way of life.

Then one day. All of sudden. Out of nowhere.
The bottom drops out. You get sick or a family member becomes ill, or you wake up one day and realize that you have hollowed out. The busy badge needs to be paid for and the cost is your inspiration and passion.  You own the badge but you feel flat.

__________________________________________

For me, it was a series of events that caused me to look at my badge a little closer.
Our family dog passed away and the badge felt I should get busy right away. But I just couldn’t.
My husband ran into serious health problems and I thought I might lose him. Busy badge was understanding, for a while. But it demanded I make up for the lost time.  I felt guilt for needing to be away.
When I took the badge off to spend time with my dad for his 80th birthday, I felt the guilt of slowing down to be fully present in the moments of his life. Yet, I also felt the incredible guilt of all the lost moments. The moments I had spent polishing my badge. The moments I had spent admiring its brilliance.

But still. I felt the badge was worth it. Sure it was a bit tarnished, but it is a great badge to have!!

Finally.

I fell down the stairs rushing to work one day. “I have to get to work NOW!!”
My phone was in one hand and my coffee cup in the other (because coffee helps you wear that shiny badge ALL day). I rode my left side down the stairs because I was no longer in the moment. I was too busy thinking of all things I needed to do that day.

Busted. I was busted. Wide open. And it hurt. Not just my shoulder, but my heart and how I fallen for this false prophet. Busier wouldn’t make me happier, healthier, or more loved. Busy had asked me to disconnect from myself and from those I loved.  I had complied.

I wish I had an easy fix answer. For me, it was riding on my left side down the stairs in the service of speed. Since then I have had some small personal epiphanies.  I share these here for what they are worth:

  1. Savor the small wonders of each day – It might be the sunrise as you drive to work, or lighting candles for dinner, or watching your kids play. Look for and find those small moments of absolute wonder. Make note, savour, and soak these up. These moments matter.
  2. Really listen – When someone speaks, let your heart crack open and be in the moment with them and for them. What are they saying? What is their perspective? What do they need in this moment? Are you there for them or are you there for yourself?
  3. Find a space you feel free – Notice where and when you feel outside of the domain of busy. For me it is outside. Whether it is walking or snowshoeing, I feel no pressure from busy when I am out in nature.  Find this place and go there regularly.
  4. Cultivate an inner life – Spend time reading, writing, thinking, and contemplating.  Develop your inner life as you might cultivate a garden.
  5. Notice yourself – After I fell down the stairs, I went for many chiropractor and massage appointments. These moments forced me to realize I had previously ignored myself.  Stop every once in a while to notice how you are feeling. Are you clenching your jaw, are your shoulders up in your ears, are you breathing deeply?

What are you going to do with your one precious life?